Bardic Extrapolation (Rime of the Ancient Sponge)


#384

“…I want to take a bath in the modder’s tears” – Zidane

Sponge: The Epic - Part 57.092

Seven is the number of the API
That caused the causes to change
Is it stable? Is it ready? Can it fly?
How many other things will rearrange?

Day and night (mostly the latter)
The Heroes of Sponge struggle onward
Building this beast of strange matter
From disparate corners of one world

Sponge’s bugs are being bested
On the battlefield of peers
With every quirk robustly tested
By several thousand spongineers


#385

Most of the time, cats are obviously a solid. But sometimes, they appear like a liquid,
and they readily sublime, behaving like a gas.

Season of FLARD

Come and sing a song of FLARD
Accompanied by random bard
No application is too hard
For all repairs in home or yard

Replace expired batteries
With slimy green anomalies
As verdant as the leafy trees
Mutating softly as they please

Lighting us all in the dark
Brightly when there is a spark
FLARD makes an indelible mark
Enabling you to jump the shark

FLARD will find it’s way inside
Learning myriad ways to hide
Then grow in secret and divide
Exploding in a show of pride

So come ye sing a song of FLARD
With noises by a handy bard
Take a YggLabs business card
We take the future far forward


#386

“from a whopping 10 to 20mb, my farts contain more data” – analysis by [Anon]

MegaSponge

Many things can be achieved
In one million lines of code
If Sponge achieves this honour
Our overlords may explode


#387

Now in preparatory phase: the metapyramid of penultimate evil

Short Fuse

Is it ironic
That so much Minecraft canon
Often goes “KaBoom!” ?


#388

Caesar and his Salad: Now invading Nova Scotia

Splicing the Licence

At last, the SpongeDocs have a license
A measure to protect their contents
But save the jubilations
For the Crowdin translations
Which have suffered a few nasty dents


#389

When nothing else will do, try that.

Spongie, Sir

There will be much to patch
When 1.13 gets here
Plus celebrity death-match:
Spongie versus Brigadier


#390

“I’ve got a Boot, and I don’t give a Hoot” – Angus of the Thumping Head

Blocky Fruit

So many devs, I cannot guess
Scarcely play now, such a shame
They miss out on the quirkiness
That’s always been key to the game

Slaving on obscure endeavors
Whose fruit they rarely see
Blocky worlds remain as ever
Backdrop to a bug-hunting spree

Minecraft has moved forward
Many things have come and gone
The fickle game they understood
Drifting further as time goes on

But the power to change the plan
To have the world(s) just as you please
Has been there since we began
Add Forge, mods (and Sponge), and squeeze


#391

Little miss spider was quite contrary until the wolf house fell down a well and grandma ate it.
chapters 7-9, Condensed Fairy Tales Vol. 6

Army of Sponge

Re-stating the obvious
To recipients oblivious
No-one sane could envy us
Only madmen volunteer

Builds are nightly had
The players are mightily glad
But you must be slightly mad
To be a Spongineer


#392

In the Cyclic Theory of Time, there is no such thing as being late. Just very, very early.

Sponge: The Epic - Part 58.677

Converging on the zenith
Of the seventh API
Everyone’s two penneth
Shall be baked into the pie

New Issue Wranglers churning
Through the tangles and road-blocks
The midnight oil is burning
As we refresh the languid docs

Come and meet the Sponge team
For a day you may remember
When we bring you SOS 15
On the 30th of December


#393

Including the pie’s! :stuck_out_tongue:


#394

<Faithcaio>: failed.cheese
<Meronat>: That's the new block right?

Version +2

When a new version
Appears it will probably
End with a .2


#395

@Restricted(value = Player.class, msg = "Pro Tip: Teleport does not work IRL!")

Re-re-solve

SpongeAPI still amazes
As Causes become Phases
Tracking many mazes
As the complexity increases

To help Spongie evolve
We must solve and resolve
All issues that revolve
Around her long-term releases


#396

server quality is measured in stack overflows per minute -- zml

Don’t Under Sand

Sand, sand, and more sand
Encroaching to smother the land
An excess of sediment
Becoming an impediment
As Sponge erosion gets out of hand


#397

Boom, Boom, Boom, Let’s go back to the shop and get a refund. – John Lee Hacker

The Magnificent XV

A motley crowd had gathered
Both on and off the stage
To have our message heard
On server, stream and page

Many people of importance
Spoke and spoke and spoke
With plugins in abundance
And nothing really broke

Our particle physician
Fresh from spongy suture
Outlined the position
Of our commanding future

Inside the overflowing cup
TeslaCrate gifts overflow
Spongie’s party hotting up
Underneath the volcano

Our grand plan was shared with you
A shimmering Spongie was seen
Thank you all for coming to
The State of Sponge Fifteen


#398

except of course when giant Spongie broke everything at the end


#399

Ygg Labs have discovered that Sandwiches cannot consist entirely of Pure Evil.
The proof (by contradiction):
if they were, then it would have to be a slice of Pure Evil placed in between two more slices of Pure Evil.
That’s just a stack of sliced Evil. Calling it a Sandwich is Pure Stupid, not Pure Evil

Wings in the Night

Overwork is doubly cursed
Let the sandman do his worst
Or practice counting sheep

Few modders could avoid
A beast that is annoyed
By those who do not sleep


#400

You can’t opt-out of a flying airplane.

Ping

I would see the wondrous world
To the radiant heavens sing
Gaze upon vast maps unfurled
If only I had the ping

I would dive into the abyss
And delve into the depths
Listen to the creepers hiss
If only I had the tps

I would claim all I can see
Bring the fighting to a stop
Rule the world dictatorially
If only I had OP


#401

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
– Spike Milligan

Parched

Naked terrain
Decorators disdain
The surface features minimal

Bare rock and soil
Instead of the roil
Of vegetables and minerals

Missing from mesas
Characteristic features
No trace of sun-baked clay

You can do it yourself
With Voxelsniper on the shelf
Painted Desert, the Bob Ross way


#402

Take it one day at a time. Any more than that and you need to take a packed lunch and a towel.

Midnight of the Cable

Blacker than coal
No view at all
As into a hole
I suddenly fall

After a pause
In which I reflected
I deduced the cause:
Monitor disconnected


#403

Grammar is real important. She can learn you how to suck eggs.

Modest Little Garden

It started innocently enough with a little gardening
Then a few more fancy tweaks as the pack was hardening
Doors, drawers, floors, walls, halls, lights, and flight
A menagerie or two, and a new horde of mobs to fight
Machinery and scenery plus several new dimensions
Magical apparatus to create even more inventions
Servants armed to the teeth to fend off all invaders
But now I need to find out: will it work with shaders?
Adding some of everything takes Minecraft to the brink
There’s really no accounting for the kitchen sink